Ups and downs for Christmas

The "holiday season" has always been a time of ups and downs for a lot of people. On the up side there can be time off from work, warmth, togetherness, good food and nice gifts. On the down side, there can be guilt (for not getting it right with the presents, Christmas cards, or other displays of affection, or for being much more fortunate than others) and sorrow. But the down side that really catches our attention this time of year is loneliness.

And I think the "evolutionary" reason that loneliness is so important to us at this time of year may be because it is much more dangerous to be alone in wintertime (when it's cold and there is no food) than in other seasons. If so, this would be another example of our emotional toolkit's inability to adapt to the affluent times we live in, because it is probably much less likely that you will starve or freeze to death now and here than at any point in written history.

Of course, there is no guarantee things will stay that way, but just for the sake of argument, let's suppose we would want to get rid of this reaction, which is arguable a big part of the mid-winter blues that some people get. I'm hoping that it works like inoculation: you inflect yourself with a weak dose of some disease, so that your body can build anti-bodies. Of course you would have to do so repeatedly, through a process of desensitizing (a process used to help people with allergies).

The other day, I thought I would get my first shot, when I missed the last bus home, on a cold snowy night. There was no need to call anyone to tell them I was coming late, because my wife and kids were out of town. And I didn't feel like paying 40 Euros for a taxi, so I walked home. It took me an hour, and I got a bit cold, but not lonely. I guess it doesn't always work if you wish it upon yourself. I did pass someone  on the way who looked cold and miserable. He was just standing there, outside a building. And then I realized he was just having a cigarette.

Which gave me an idea: I could desensitize myself to loneliness by taking up smoking again, thereby ostracizing myself from the majority of current society. And the irony is that most people (including myself) started smoking because of peer pressure. Talk about a wishy-washy society!


[Please note that I am not seriously suggesting anyone start smoking, for any reason. I kicked a three-packs a day habit 18 years ago, and am still grateful I did.]

Alliterating antonyms

I like lists, I like opposites, I like pairs, and I like alliteration (and yes, I also like repetition, provided it serves a stylistic purpose). I searched the web for examples, but didn't find very much, so here is my own list of alliterating antonyms and the like, grouped grammatically, and ordered alphabetically within the groups. My favourites (the short, snappy ones, especially if they rhyme and/or have a nice rhythm to them) are indicated in bold.

Nouns 1: things
apathy or action
boon or bane
brain or brawn
city or country
competition or cooperation
curve or corner
fact or fiction/fantasy
fight or flight
form or function
free or fettered
heaven or hell
love or lust
method/meaning or madness
mind over matter
mountain or molehill
nature or nurture
pain and pleasure
rhyme and reason
right and wrong
style or substance
sunshine and shade
tit or teat
vice and virtue
whiskey or water

Nouns 2: people
beauty or beast
friend or foe
knight or knave
man or mouse
prince or pauper
sinner or saint
striker or scab

Verbs
do or die
detest or desire
fight or flee
help or hinder
help or hurt/harm
like or loathe
practice or preach
publish or perish
pull or push
sink or swim
stimulate or soothe
strive or shirk

Adjectives
brainy or bubbly
callous or caring
catchy or corny
classy or crass
conscious or comatose
factual or fake
fair or foul
greedy or grateful
nice or nasty
principled or pragmatic
simple or sophisticated
smart or stupid
sweet or sour
thick or thin

The reason I like them (I think) is because they are easy to remember, and because the juxtaposition makes it easier to understand what I mean by each term: when I say "right and wrong", for example, you can immediately exclude "right" as the opposite of left.

I have also started a list of other word pairs (not antonyms) beginning with the same letter called Tweedledum and Tweedledee: alliterating pairs.

Stressing in the snow

This morning I went to the park with the kids. They had been pestering me to take them sleighing for several days already, and last night, more snow fell, so conditions were perfect. Or at least, the natural world was being accommodating. The humans were not.

In the park, there are really only two slopes suitable for sleighing, one on each side of a high hill which also houses two slides and a climbing tower. The best one already bore the tracks of previous sleigh-rides, fanning out to either side of the central crest. It was popular because it is a long, gently undulating slope without obstacles. Except of course all the people (adults and children) who were climbing up the same hill as everyone wanted to go down, instead of using the stairs.

Being quite safety-conscious myself, I insisted my children use this route. Then, once we had reached the top, I would tell them to wait until everyone was either out of the way, or were at least aware that we were coming down (this was even more important in our case, because they were slightly bigger than most other children, and with a heavier sled). But no-one else followed my example, and while we were there, more and more people arrived, and not a single parent used the stairs. In the end, it became impossible to get down the hill without risking hitting someone else, and I gave up. Luckily, my children quickly found other fun (but safer) things to do.

I however am still stressed by the experience. I know I should learn to accept that things are not always as they should be, but I find this needless risk-taking too silly for words. While we were there, I saw three accidents (none very serious, luckily) and half a dozen really close calls, some of which could have easily end up much worse.

But, to be completely honest, I am almost as upset by the lack of consideration, and by the fact that I am basically being punished for behaving responsibly. I had absolutely no fun whatsoever, and I will definitely think twice before going back.