Ups and downs for Christmas

The "holiday season" has always been a time of ups and downs for a lot of people. On the up side there can be time off from work, warmth, togetherness, good food and nice gifts. On the down side, there can be guilt (for not getting it right with the presents, Christmas cards, or other displays of affection, or for being much more fortunate than others) and sorrow. But the down side that really catches our attention this time of year is loneliness.

And I think the "evolutionary" reason that loneliness is so important to us at this time of year may be because it is much more dangerous to be alone in wintertime (when it's cold and there is no food) than in other seasons. If so, this would be another example of our emotional toolkit's inability to adapt to the affluent times we live in, because it is probably much less likely that you will starve or freeze to death now and here than at any point in written history.

Of course, there is no guarantee things will stay that way, but just for the sake of argument, let's suppose we would want to get rid of this reaction, which is arguable a big part of the mid-winter blues that some people get. I'm hoping that it works like inoculation: you inflect yourself with a weak dose of some disease, so that your body can build anti-bodies. Of course you would have to do so repeatedly, through a process of desensitizing (a process used to help people with allergies).

The other day, I thought I would get my first shot, when I missed the last bus home, on a cold snowy night. There was no need to call anyone to tell them I was coming late, because my wife and kids were out of town. And I didn't feel like paying 40 Euros for a taxi, so I walked home. It took me an hour, and I got a bit cold, but not lonely. I guess it doesn't always work if you wish it upon yourself. I did pass someone  on the way who looked cold and miserable. He was just standing there, outside a building. And then I realized he was just having a cigarette.

Which gave me an idea: I could desensitize myself to loneliness by taking up smoking again, thereby ostracizing myself from the majority of current society. And the irony is that most people (including myself) started smoking because of peer pressure. Talk about a wishy-washy society!


[Please note that I am not seriously suggesting anyone start smoking, for any reason. I kicked a three-packs a day habit 18 years ago, and am still grateful I did.]