According to wikipaedia, "Midlife crisis is a term coined in 1965 by Elliott Jaques and used in Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" or middle age of life, as a result of sensing the passing of their own youth and the imminence of their old age [...] The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day-to-day life or situation, such as in career, work-life balance, marriage, romantic relationships, big-ticket expenditures, or physical appearance." The article goes on to suggest that it is less common than it may seem, and that it may be typically western, as there is "little evidence that it occur in Japanese or Indian cultures."
The article also records the existing question marks as to whether there really is such a thing as a mid-life crisis, because many of the possible causes listed occur throughout life, not just in the timespan between 40 and 60, and because many (even most) people seem to get by without crisis. To me, that is like saying that mad cow disease does not exist, because most cows do not get it.
I think it does exist, and I have a theory about it. I call it theory 21 in honour of Douglas Adams, whose answer to the big question about "Life, the Universe and Everything" is 42. The mid-life crisis only covers half of that, hence theory 21. My theory is that mid-life is the time when people reach a "boiling point" regarding their hopes and expectations. Whether this is traumatic or not depends, among other things, on how realistic your expectations are/have been and how easily you accept that things will not always go your way. And I think this is where we are going wrong, in western society: many of us have been brought up to believe that it is perfectly reasonable to expect not only that you will get the things you want (enough money, a good job, a nice family, etc), but also that you will be able to avoid the things you don't want (illness, a lousy job, poverty, loneliness etc).
But contrary to what you might think, many of us are perfectly capable of accepting adversity in the big things mentioned above. Often, it is the constant drip-drip-drip of small irritations (traffic jams, husbands who don't put up the toilet seat when they urinate, condescending waiters in fancy restaurants, etc. etc) that we have difficulty with. And the reason for this is exactly because they are so small that we believe we should be able to do something about them, even though often, we can't. Often, the only thing we can do is try to change our own reaction to them, because they are not going to go away.
Imagine a whole series of little buttons (the number is different for each of us), one for each irritation, each one with a different sound and a different volume (depending on your own sensitity to this specific irritation). Every time we come up against something unpleasant, the corresponding button is pushed. In some cases, the sound is outside our hearing range, so we are not bothered in the least. In other cases, the sound may be irritating at first, but you get used to it with time, and learn to ignore it (the same way people who work in a slaughterhouse stop noticing the smell). In other cases, you do not get used to it, and it becomes increasingly irritating with time. Still, you may still "accept" it, like old couples that are in each other's hair constantly, but wouldn't dream of splitting up. And then there are the ones that drive you completely bonkers every single time.
Mid-life crisis is when you start to see that life is too short to disconnect all the buttons.
The article also records the existing question marks as to whether there really is such a thing as a mid-life crisis, because many of the possible causes listed occur throughout life, not just in the timespan between 40 and 60, and because many (even most) people seem to get by without crisis. To me, that is like saying that mad cow disease does not exist, because most cows do not get it.
I think it does exist, and I have a theory about it. I call it theory 21 in honour of Douglas Adams, whose answer to the big question about "Life, the Universe and Everything" is 42. The mid-life crisis only covers half of that, hence theory 21. My theory is that mid-life is the time when people reach a "boiling point" regarding their hopes and expectations. Whether this is traumatic or not depends, among other things, on how realistic your expectations are/have been and how easily you accept that things will not always go your way. And I think this is where we are going wrong, in western society: many of us have been brought up to believe that it is perfectly reasonable to expect not only that you will get the things you want (enough money, a good job, a nice family, etc), but also that you will be able to avoid the things you don't want (illness, a lousy job, poverty, loneliness etc).
But contrary to what you might think, many of us are perfectly capable of accepting adversity in the big things mentioned above. Often, it is the constant drip-drip-drip of small irritations (traffic jams, husbands who don't put up the toilet seat when they urinate, condescending waiters in fancy restaurants, etc. etc) that we have difficulty with. And the reason for this is exactly because they are so small that we believe we should be able to do something about them, even though often, we can't. Often, the only thing we can do is try to change our own reaction to them, because they are not going to go away.
Imagine a whole series of little buttons (the number is different for each of us), one for each irritation, each one with a different sound and a different volume (depending on your own sensitity to this specific irritation). Every time we come up against something unpleasant, the corresponding button is pushed. In some cases, the sound is outside our hearing range, so we are not bothered in the least. In other cases, the sound may be irritating at first, but you get used to it with time, and learn to ignore it (the same way people who work in a slaughterhouse stop noticing the smell). In other cases, you do not get used to it, and it becomes increasingly irritating with time. Still, you may still "accept" it, like old couples that are in each other's hair constantly, but wouldn't dream of splitting up. And then there are the ones that drive you completely bonkers every single time.
Mid-life crisis is when you start to see that life is too short to disconnect all the buttons.
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