After several entries that were more favourable towards the male point of view (such as The dishwasher conundrum and The dishwasher revisted), and in the knowledge that there is a real danger of leaning beyond the point of no return and becoming a grumpy, whiny mal(e)content, I have decided to compensate and write a little bit about something that many men do poorly: the laundry.
Many men have complicated relations with washing machines. They are perfectly happy to move them or sit on them when they are slightly out of kilter, but actually using them to do the laundry can be a problem. The behaviour of many single men can serve as a first red flag: if they have a good job, they will hire someone else to do the laundry, if they have a crappy job, they will try to get their mother to do it. (Single men who do their own laundry in laundramats are excluded from these pseudo-statistics because too many of them are really only there to strike up conversations with potential partners, and especially those that are good at doing the laundry).
Contrary to what you might think, however, this is not simply laziness. Yes, laziness is definitely involved, but it is reinforced by several other factors, including the male identity, which means getting as dirty as possible when doing any kind of physical job (plumbing, carpentry, vehicle maintenance, etc), the fact that they do not smell themselves and therefore have no reliable indicator of when something should be washed, and - most important of all - their inability and/or unwillingess to distinguish the main types of fabrics (cotton, wool, satin, etc.). This last skill takes time and effort to develop, and for most people, the process is very hit-and-miss. I sure you all recognize the batch of clothes that was once white but had become some kind of undefinable grey or pink, or the beautiful cahsmere sweater that only fits a 6-month year old baby.
When this happens to men, their female partner may wonder "Is he doing this on purpose?".
I can see how you might want to ask this question, but you can't, because it focusses too much on failing, ignorance, etc. Men do not like being blamed for anything (especially not for things they actually did wrong). Also, it might suggest that he did it to annoy you, which is hardly ever the case, but the moment you even hint at it, he will try to annoy you for having made such a ridiculous suggestion. No, the question to ask is: is the situation going to get any better? Was this just part of of the learning curve, or is it his way of saying (though not in so many words) that doesn't want to be doing this? My advice: ask him, point blank, if he is willing to learn to distinguish the fabrics. If he evades the question or become belligerent (e.g. by calling the question "stupid" or making scoffing noises), you have your answer: he doesn't. At which point, hopefully, he will offer to do some other household chore.
Sorry to stop here, but it's time for me to take out the garbage (which, BTW, I will deal with in another entry).
Many men have complicated relations with washing machines. They are perfectly happy to move them or sit on them when they are slightly out of kilter, but actually using them to do the laundry can be a problem. The behaviour of many single men can serve as a first red flag: if they have a good job, they will hire someone else to do the laundry, if they have a crappy job, they will try to get their mother to do it. (Single men who do their own laundry in laundramats are excluded from these pseudo-statistics because too many of them are really only there to strike up conversations with potential partners, and especially those that are good at doing the laundry).
Contrary to what you might think, however, this is not simply laziness. Yes, laziness is definitely involved, but it is reinforced by several other factors, including the male identity, which means getting as dirty as possible when doing any kind of physical job (plumbing, carpentry, vehicle maintenance, etc), the fact that they do not smell themselves and therefore have no reliable indicator of when something should be washed, and - most important of all - their inability and/or unwillingess to distinguish the main types of fabrics (cotton, wool, satin, etc.). This last skill takes time and effort to develop, and for most people, the process is very hit-and-miss. I sure you all recognize the batch of clothes that was once white but had become some kind of undefinable grey or pink, or the beautiful cahsmere sweater that only fits a 6-month year old baby.
When this happens to men, their female partner may wonder "Is he doing this on purpose?".
I can see how you might want to ask this question, but you can't, because it focusses too much on failing, ignorance, etc. Men do not like being blamed for anything (especially not for things they actually did wrong). Also, it might suggest that he did it to annoy you, which is hardly ever the case, but the moment you even hint at it, he will try to annoy you for having made such a ridiculous suggestion. No, the question to ask is: is the situation going to get any better? Was this just part of of the learning curve, or is it his way of saying (though not in so many words) that doesn't want to be doing this? My advice: ask him, point blank, if he is willing to learn to distinguish the fabrics. If he evades the question or become belligerent (e.g. by calling the question "stupid" or making scoffing noises), you have your answer: he doesn't. At which point, hopefully, he will offer to do some other household chore.
Sorry to stop here, but it's time for me to take out the garbage (which, BTW, I will deal with in another entry).
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