As a child, I was taught (mostly by example) that Christmas is a religious event, which should not be about presents. And, although I am no longer religious in any way that counts, I still hold on to that idea. It is good to have a time to reflect, count your blessings, and celebrate togetherness. It is for this same reason that I oppose the new fashion of opening stores on Sundays: for me, Sunday is down-time. And that downtime should not be used to try to buy happiness (as if that were possible). And of course that means trying to avoid having Santa Claus visit our house.
But not to worry, because in our (Dutch-Spanish) case, we have two other options. Dutch children have traditionally been visited by Sinterklaas, who of course is in fact the same as Santa Claus (both names deriving from St. Nicolas, a 3rd century Turkish bishop famed for his generosity) but who, with the help of a small army of "Pieten", leaves his gifts on the 5th of December instead of the 25th. And we can also appeal to the Three Kings, who bring gifts to Spanish children on the 6th of January.
We have already explained to our children that these five wise old men actually talk to each other, to make sure that the wealth is divided fairly. We haven't been too specific about what "fair" means, other than that it is based on a general evaluation of the goodness of the children throughout the year (as opposed to being good in the weeks just prior to the happy occasion), and we have also had to explain that the number of presents does not depend on the quality of the drawings they leave, as one of my children tearfully admitted fearing the other day, because it is the intention and the goodness that counts. We have also explained that the wise men often consult parents, and that at times, it is necessary to enlist the help of normal humans ("impostors") because the holy men cannot be everywhere at once. Which brings me to the problem of logistics.
Ever since the birth of our children, we have been in Luxembourg around Saint Nicolas' day (which, to make matters even more complicated, is celebrated on the 6th of December in Luxembourg, not the 5th). So logically, our children expect to find something in their shoes. But we always go to Spain for Christmas. In principle, we would want the gifts to arrive on January 6th. But we are hardly ever in Spain on that date. Having them sent up to Luxembourg is not an option, because the grandparents want to be present when the gifts are opened. So, like many Spaniards (who have a different problem, namely that the children don't have enough time to enjoy their gifts if they get them on the sixth, just before school starts again), we allow the gifts to arrive on Christmas. Which leaves me out in the cold with my anti-materialist, anti-hedonist aspirations.
Of course, in only a few years, it will no longer be necessary to maintain the myth (even though we would want to maintain the magic). The other day, I almost let it slip that Saint Nicolas is dead. Later, I realized that my children would probably not be overly worried by the idea of someone rising from the dead to give them presents, but still, I am happy I was not forced to perpetuate a myth that I should start gently dismantling soon, at least in the case of my eldest. I/we have not quite figured out how to do this yet, but I imagine it will help if we start by offering reassurance as far as the gifts are concerned. But that is just part of the problem, the other part being a pre-adolescent version of the existentialist crisis that teenagers/adults suffer when - to paraphrase Nietzsche - they try to come to terms with the fact that God (or at least their image or perception thereof) is dead.
As such, this demystification is a very important step (a bit like a rite of passage), and I hope we will be able to handle this well. At the moment, the most promising approach seems to be explaining how metaphors and symbols work: St. Nicolas may no longer be with us in a literal, corporal sense, but he lives on in people's hearts and minds, and many follow his example of generosity and goodness. (I did not invent this idea of redefinition and internalization, of looking inwards instead of outwards, of course, it is just a slimmed down version of what Humanists like Erasmus did many centuries ago.)
Merry Christmas!
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